Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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