we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
