btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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