I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
