remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
