A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
