Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
