So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
