Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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