I think I died a long time ago.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
