Sponge bath it is.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
