i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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