Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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