PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
