is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
