They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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