are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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