just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
operation have a gay friend backfired
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
