Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize