I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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