my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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