Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
