All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
