No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
