That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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