Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
