So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
