Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
