Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
