you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
