I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
