sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
