I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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