they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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