Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
one might say we're banned from that church
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Hippo gnu deer
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
