The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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