This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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