Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize