She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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