the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
