The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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