just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
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