no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I look better un-naked...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize