i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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