I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
We have started to decorate penises.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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