Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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