return my video game
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
