This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Success! We fucked roommates!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
