She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Then you guys just all showered together...?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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