I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
