The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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