i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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