New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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