Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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