She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
