She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
