It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
