I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
