these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
