real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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