there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
